The stress of isolation. Living in close proximity. Extended time with the same people for days and weeks on end. Being separated from support systems. All of these things have the effect of revealing microscopic fractures in the self and in our relationships. Like a building that seems to be structurally sound until an earthquake hits, the problems that were there all along don’t become evident until the building faces sustained rigorous shaking. A marriage may have seemed stable and healthy but the added pressure of unpredictable finances and sharing close quarters may reveal disagreements, fears, and unhealthy dependencies that have been dormant, hidden, or purposely ignored. For me, isolation has revealed relational insecurities that I thought I had addressed and conquered. I find myself thinking that no one wants to hear anything I have to say, or that people think negative things about me, or that people don’t want me around. The lack of in-person contact exposed the depth of the problem, and I became aware that there is more work to do. I need to turn to God for help in taking captive all of the speculative thoughts that are not anchored in truth. Stressful times reveal the continued need to check whether my dependency lies with Christ or in the opinions of others.
It is not a bad thing to depend on others. In fact, we were created to be interdependent. We are meant to operate as a body; many individual parts of one complete whole. The support of others is a gift but will never completely fill us. Also, our ability to provide support for others must always come from a source outside of ourselves. The ultimate source of strength is always Christ. He is the Living Water, the only source of our strength, identity, emotional and physical security, acceptance, courage, and hope.
Stress and difficulties can reveal that our security is in other things. We may depend on things like financial security, affirmation of others, meaningful work, or the use of our abilities and talents. These things are not bad, but the problem is making anything other than Christ the source of ultimate satisfaction. When we turn to something other than God as the ultimate source of meeting our needs, we eventually experience pain and disappointment because there is no other source capable of meeting our deepest needs in a real and substantive way. Quarantine is the perfect opportunity to address issues that have been ignored. When our cracks are revealed we have two choices, we can either address the issues, or we can ignore them and allow the cracks to turn into gaping fissures and watch the whole building collapse. We can use this opportunity to become proactive in seeking help and pursuing growth and healing.
Cracks shouldn’t come as a surprise. Cracks will always be present; they come with being human. Dealing with new cracks is the ongoing condition of humanity which is why we need to be dependent on Christ rather than ourselves. Only God can heal the cracks, and after those cracks are healed, be ready for the next set of cracks. It’s an ongoing lifelong dependent relationship.
