Communication skills:
I statements- The purpose is clean and clear communication. Explain what is true for you. Don’t use “you” statements. Don’t say anything about what the other person should do. Only communicate what you feel or need. Communicate clearly how strong your feelings are with your words not your volume. Speak for yourself. Don’t use “everyone” or “we” statements. If you don’t know something as fact, don’t state it as fact, just say “I think”.
Clarifying questions- Don’t assume that you know what someone is saying. Don’t fill in the box. Ask questions to find out exactly what they are saying.
Paraphrase- Repeat back in your own words. “What I hear you saying…” Ask if that is what they are saying. Especially needed when you are listening to something you disagree with.
Awareness opportunities- Receive Awareness opportunities. When someone tells you something about yourself or that they don’t like something, listen. Accept it. See it as a gift. Someone is providing you with a look at the way they see things. Take it well. Also, stand up for yourself, give awareness opportunities. Example: “I don’t like it when you call me sunshine.”
When I Offend- If someone is hurt by you, focus on their feelings not on your intent. (This is an awareness opportunity) Say “What I hear you saying is…, I didn’t know that, thank you for telling me, I apologize, In the future I will…” Then, if you need to explain, ask for permission to explain.
Treat each other’s ideas and opinions with due consideration. This means listening to another person’s ideas, opinions, and advice with an open mind. Even if you don’t necessarily agree with them, give them the benefit of thinking about what they have said and weighing the pros and cons. You might be surprised at what you discover when you give their ideas some thought.
See the problem as the enemy, not each other. See yourselves as being on the same team, working together to solve the problem.
Change blocked goals to desires
Don’t guess at motivation
Bring up offenses rather that stuffing
Balance positives and negatives
Give regular affirmation
Have grace for mistakes
Stay on topic
