Speak Up

In my training as a corrections officer, I learned a concept that changed the way that I respond to people who say that I have hurt them. The concept is awareness opportunity. When someone comes to you and says that you have hurt or offended them, see it as an opportunity to learn, to become aware, and to care for them. Listen humbly without defense. Accept it. See it as a gift. Someone is providing you with a picture of the way they see things. Focus on their feelings not your intent. Reflect back to them what you heard them say. Apologize for hurting them. Don’t tell someone that you didn’t hurt them just because you didn’t mean to. Be secure enough in yourself that you don’t have to defend your ego. You can apologize for doing something that caused hurt even if you didn’t intend to hurt anyone. If you feel that you need to explain yourself, ask for permission first. When you tell someone who has been hurt by you that you have done nothing wrong, it shows a lack of care and concern for the person’s feelings and well-being.

If people of color are saying there is a problem, then we need to listen. We need to take a humble stance of listening and let them speak and let them point out what could be done to solve the problem. If a people group is being oppressed or victimized it is not our job to tell them that they are not oppressed, it is our job to let them speak and then help them see it addressed.

In my education as a counselor one of the concepts that I am learning about that I was not aware of before, is the concept of power. Power exists all around us whether we are aware of it or not. As soon as a person walks into to the office of any professional, there is an automatic power dynamic. One person has more power than the other. They have the ability to either use their power for the benefit of the other person or abuse their power for the benefit of themselves. As counselors, we are taught to recognize that this power exists and determine to never abuse it. We should be aware of all of the suggestions and opinions that we share, because they will be taken seriously by the client and either lead to their benefit or to their harm. And many times people will give-in to the suggestions of people in power, not because they want to but because they don’t feel like they have a choice.

People with positions in businesses, governments, churches, and schools all have more power than those who do not hold positions; people with money have more power than those with less, people in uniform have more power than those without, members of the majority culture have more power than people of color in many cases, men have more power than women in many cases. We need to recognize our positions of power.

For those who do not hold any power at all (see examples above), when they are treated unjustly, what means do they have to defend themselves? Do they have the ability to attain justice? No, they don’t. The marginalized cannot change anything without the help of people with more power than they have.

The right to vote only came to women when good men stood up for them and voted to give them the rights that they deserved. The right to vote only came to African Americans when good white Americans used their voting power to give them the right that they deserved. The oppressed never overcome oppression without good people with power who decide to use it to stand up for the rights of the oppressed. For those of us who have been given any kind of power at all, it is our responsibility to give voice to the voiceless, those with less power.